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Thursday, April 17, 2014

High School Memories That Made Me Laugh Out Loud

Today's Throwback Thursday post is for you 4Wians, class of 2007, Alliance Girls High School. It so happens that I used to record all these things somewhere before I had a blog. Yesterday I pulled out my diary from back in the day and found these funny memories tucked in there. I laughed so hard my baby sister was not pleased with me. Here goes:

If you remember these events (not in chronological order), you were indeed in 4W in the year 2007. I will withhold classmates' names for obvious reasons.

The day Mr. Ayiro caught us in the noise-making act during preps and switched off the lights on us. That did not stop us from going on. So he came back and ordered out in the dark, outside Homan Block to sing rhymes and singing games. Didn't we have fun! Unbelievable lot.

The day Mrs. Mbugua made a lecture about noise-making during one of the weekly chapel briefings then we went right ahead to make a din in class. Needless to say, I was one of the main culprits. So we ended up in the farm after finding jembes and changing into those tracksuits. Of course we dug, but not without drama here and there; taking photos, roasting maize, basking in the sweet sun and basically having a blast! Of course there were blisters the next day but hey, we were looking on the bright side.

The day Mr. Nangulu concluded a boring literature lesson by saying something to this effect "Tell your classmates to bring their night gear in the next lesson. The same rain that falls on sugar-cane is the same one that falls (on some bitter herb I cannot remember as I was still half asleep)." Basically he was hinting at all of us who had been aswatch (asleep) for the better part of that afternoon double.

The day Bi. Nkonge caught one of us asleep as usual and told her, "Wewe hata Yesu akirudi atakupata ukiwa umelala!"

The day one of us had not written a certain essay but was unfortunately picked to read it out to the rest of the class. The mad girl went ahead to read a blank page to us. She did it so meticulously she was not caught! For those of us who knew what she was up to, it was downright hilarious!

The day someone suggested that the name Bi. Keti from Mwisho wa Kosa was jina la majazi because the mama had very many problems that made her sit down. And this someone was so serious she did not even flinch when we burst out laughing. 

The 'partnership' drama between us and 4D across the valley. I will not pursue this further.

The day we had a farewell 'picnic' in the field courtesy of Mr. Nangulu. Aaawww, that was just so sweet!

The day 1Wians took our cups from our Para tables and they had to write apology letters to each of us! Aki that was bullying but still funny in retrospect.

Mr. Ayiro's 'big word for today' over his history lessons and the girl who would take out a dictionary every time he walked in. 

The day someone scribbled 'free' on the space allocated to the history lesson on the chalkboard. Upon seeing this when he walked in, Mr. Ayiro proceeded to tell us that we reminded him of the 3Y class of 1999 whose members were all suspended. *Shiver*

The day we were last to get to parade and to make it worse, some of us were strolling. So when a few of us were already in place on the parade ground, Mrs. Mbugua told the unlucky ones to stop where they were and get out of the school for crosso! (cross country) In the morning! Fully dressed!

The day we sat for a Kiswahili exam featuring never-heard-of methali. One of them read: "Akupaye kisogo__" So one of us bright ones completed it as "Akupaye kisogo labda ana viwili." Kwaaa!

There you have it. You can't make this stuff up! Those were good times. There are more memories in the list but I chose to keep them out of here as they are a bit sensitive. If you remember an epic moment I seem to have forgotten, hit me up!

Hope you are all doing well wherever you are Wians, and all Busherians in general. Walk in the light! :*

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

This Is a Very Random Post

I am having one of those days I could easily pull out my hair (what’s left of it, that is). Fortunately I am in a head scarf so that thought is stopped in its tracks right there. I had this elaborate plan set out for Wednesday. I’d hit my desk and type away a post for work in a matter of minutes, schedule titbits and move on to other things. Unfortunately, that is heavily reliant on the Internet. Plus bright Shiku did not write it on Word first. I did it directly on WordPress so I cannot even build on it now. Argh.

Anyway, all I can do is blog (on Word and publish it later). I have lots to blog about but can’t pick out one thing. So I picked one of my many drafts. Yes, I have loads of drafts hidden inside these blogs. Some never see the light of day. Let’s see which one gets to be the lucky one today.


It’s been a while since I wrote about movies. I rarely do it. The last time I did, it broke me into a thousand pieces and made me think.

So I watched Noah. The movie is doing well according to box office ratings though it dropped from 2 to 5 this weekend. Word of advice. If you go into the movie thinking it is a Christian movie, kindly rethink that. It is not. It is basically like any other Sci-Fi movie for a good part of it. I will not spoil it for you but consider yourself warned. You will get annoyed, laugh at the absurdity and breathe a sigh of relief now and then. When the movie ends, there will be an eerie silence in the cinema hall, or wherever it is you will be watching it. Like what in the world did I just watch? Is that it? Even Russell Crowe won’t make you feel any better.

Russell and Jennifer Connelly are hubby and wifey once again, like in A Beautiful Mind. But this is nothing in comparison. I could rewatch A Beautiful Mind a million times and still cry a river. I did not shed a tear in Noah. I guess there are lines to be drawn in fictionalizing true stories, especially if everyone knows what will or should happen. I rest my case. Tell me when you watch it. By the way, it is still a great experience in 3D and even greater if you love movies with fake machines like Transformers. Okay, seriously, I rest my case.

In other related news, I got wind of the movie Heaven Is for Real and went Googling. And what do you know? The movie is based on an actual book that was written by the little boy’s father. So that is what I am currently reading. Will tell you all about it soon if it makes me inspired enough. The movie will be released in the US this Easter weekend. How timely!

Then there is God’s Not Dead. Number 7, box office this weekend. God’s Not Dead began with the Newsboys "God’s Not Dead (Like a Lion)" track that was downright awesome. The video too. The movie which features a Kenyan has been hyped in Christian circles for quite a while. I specifically look forward to watching it because I know what it means to be in a lecture where lecturers challenge your faith, or social media for that matter.

I am yet to watch Son of God. The hype and associated criticisms behind all these movies are expected. I love these kinds of times when everyone has an opinion about everything. I listen, take mental notes and move on.

Net is still not back so let me figure out what else I can do that I have been postponing. There is very little I can do in my line of work without Internet all the same. My Safaricom modem is practically useless at my desk for some strange reason. My phone too can hardly connect though I am still insisting on publishing this using the Blogger app. I will edit and insert all the links later. And here I thought I was a few kilometres from Safaricom House.

See you when you see me!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Kikuyu Songs From My Childhood

In the world of social media, today is #ThrowbackThursday. So I am going to make some Thursdays the same here too. I love history. I also love it when I remember stuff from way back (way back being my very long 24 years of existence). Unfortunately, sometimes I forget. Fortunately, I have this blog to document stuff and the Internet never forgets. So today, I am going down memory lane with some of the Kikuyu songs my dad and mum taught me and my brother as kids.They doted on us a lot. They dote on my younger brother and sister too (who came years later) but they have no knowledge of the songs I am about to write here. I guess parenthood changes as you grow old and get used to it.

Here are five songs I remember from my childhood. There are more but let's leave those for another day. My dad came up with them all the time. Some I am not even sure were actual songs in the Kikuyu community. He may have made them up for all we know. If you know them, you can sing them out loud, don't be shy. And if you know some popular ones from back in the day, you can go ahead and share, regardless of tribe.

Song One

Mwarimu witu teacher                 Our teacher
Niweka uru bad                          You have done bad
Ni kwira ciana children                To tell the children
Cithie mugunda garden                To go to the garden
Cikaune mbembe maize               To harvest maize
Itari na rutha permission               Without permission

This has never made sense to me by the way. I figured if the teacher told the children to harvest the maize, how did they not have permission? Maybe the garden did not belong to the school or the teacher... Makes sense.

Song Two

Ungienda guthoma cukuru umenye        If you want to study in school
Ni kwaria githungu o kiugo kiugo          You have to speak in English, word for word
Teacher ni mwarimu                             Mwarimu is teacher
Chair ni giti                                           Giti is chair
Window ni diricha                                 Diricha is window
Arm ni guoko                                        Guoko is arm

Song Three

Njeri koma, wakoma ningugwita,             Njeri sleep, if you sleep I will call you
Ngurugire ngima ina cama                        I will cook for you sweet ugali
Waigua ngima, ni kindu kiri murio,            Ugali is something very sweet
Kiri murio, ta uki wa njuki                        Very sweet, like the bee’s honey

Song Four

Kaguku ga Bauro ni kaumire kiaga,          Paul’s little chicken left the cop
gagitenyera na au githakaini                      and ran to the forest
Bauro agitenyera na ndakanyitire,             Paul ran after it and did not catch it
Gagikora mbwe na gicuthi kinene             It found a fox with a huge tail
Ko-ko-ko, kaguku kau gakiuga               Ko-ko-ko, the little chicken said
Ko-ko-ko, ndigacoka mucii ringi              Ko-ko-ko, I’ll never go back home again

This also makes no sense and I presume my dad probably made it up. How do you meet a fox that will gobble you up in a second then decide never to go back home? Isn't that like the complete opposite of what you should do?

Song Five

Kanyoni kanja, kanyoni kanja                                     Little bird, little bird
Gekugwa nja na mitheko                                             Fell outside with laughter
Ndakoria atiri, ndakoria atiri                                        I asked it, I asked it
Wamichore watinda ku?                                              Striped one, where have you been?
Ndatinda Koiri, ndatinda Koiri                                     I have been to Koiri, I have been to Koiri
Ngiaragania mbirigiti                                                    Spreading (no idea what mbirigiti is)
Na mbirigiti, na mbirigiti                                               
Na ndinainukia magoto                                                And I have not brought home (same with magoto)
Magwa iriaini, magwa iriaini                                         They fell into the lake, they fell into the lake
Gwa cucu wa Kamerukia meru!                                  At grandma’s of Kamerukia meru!

We can now all laugh at my weak attempt at direct translation which finally led to the discovery that I may not know Kikuyu as much as I would have loved to. :D

Do you know some songs from your childhood? It would be pretty neat to learn some from other tribes.

Happy Throwback Thursday to you! 

Monday, March 31, 2014

Reading Culture or Doing Culture?

Sometimes, all it takes for me to spill out paragraphs and paragraphs of emotion is one simple sentence I read. It triggers so many other things. Like right now. I just read a quote that is apparently by Albert Einstein. I say apparently because you know how it is these days. You can think up anything and claim any famous person said it. Anyway, this was the quote: Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

Kenyans have always been accused of not reading, not having a reading culture. I disagree with this premise by the way. The street vendors with sackfuls of books and others spread out neatly on the ground with people hunched over them in proof. Also, you are here reading this, you are proof. We could say Kenyans have a short attention span but then again that would be a lie. Kenyans will read long things all day, every day. They just won't read long boring things. You want proof again? Biko Zulu. :)

Most of the popular websites in Kenya are content sites, news sites, gossip sites. That is all reading. Not to mention gutter press right on the streets. Kenyans love reading so much, bloggers are coming up every single day because there are people to read. Kenyans read. They just don't read boring stuff that has no bearing whatsoever on their lives. My dad will read newspapers and educational magazines and whatever else makes sense to him. My mum will read motivational books. My brother will read some strange engineering manuals I have never even bothered looking at. My other brother will prefer the newspapers' sports section to catch up on Arsenal, comic books and funny novels that make him laugh out aloud in the night. My baby sister, well, she will grab anything that tells her stories that she has never heard of before, story books with pictures. Of late she cannot seem to put down this particular Children's Bible that has been handed down generations. 
Children's Bible that has been handed down generations
Notice how dad adds the kids as they are born? LOL (And the kids added a little artwork of their own.)
Anyway, in the end you have to do more than read. If all you do is read and do nothing, then you might as well not read. If you are reading to be in the cool crowd, the deep crowd, stop. Just like the quote above suggests, reading is not an end in itself, just like education is not. You have to get out there and do. Just like reading the Bible should not end there. Read on people, just don't spend all your time reading and doing nothing, clicking links on Facebook and Twitter and reading all the time at the expense of your job. Priorities people. In fact, if you clicked this link and you are supposed to be doing something else, kindly pinch yourself. 

Just do it! 
(And before we knew it, March was gone.)